


Compulsion

by ariadne83, shinysylver



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Episode Tag, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-15
Updated: 2012-11-15
Packaged: 2017-11-18 17:25:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/563568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariadne83/pseuds/ariadne83, https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinysylver/pseuds/shinysylver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas tells Naomi everything, but none of it is useful. She should've been more specific with her questions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Compulsion

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for episode 8.07. 
> 
> This is what happens when squee turns into cracky IM fic.

Naomi settles back in her chair and says the keyphrase. "Tell me about the Winchesters." It's been two weeks since she last saw Castiel, so he should have sufficient information to be worth her time.

"Dean isn't talking to me today. Apparently spilling soda in his car is punishable by something called the silent treatment. Sam says that he suffered this torture many times in his childhood."

Naomi cocks her head. "So Dean is no longer confiding in you. Perhaps Sam, then."

"He is being very supportive."

"Of what?"

"I am regrettably inexperienced compared to Dean. Sam is more than willing to explain... procedure," Cas replies. "For example, did you know that the prostate not only serves an important function in semen production, but also feels amazing when stroked? Our father's creations, truly are wonderful."

"The... prostate?" Naomi isn't sure her vessel contains such an object.

"It is a gland located within the anal passage of male vessels."

"That is...interesting. What of the demons?" Naomi says, hoping to redirect the conversation.

"There is nothing demonic about a consenting homosexual relationship between adults. Sam wishes me to accompany him to a 'Pride parade' when next we have the opportunity. He says that while he prefers to lay with women, he is trying to be supportive of Dean." Castiel pauses, a frown on his face. "Dean does not seem to appreciate Sam's efforts."

Naomi resists the urge to sigh. "Can you not exploit this disagreement to further our aims?"

Castiel shakes his head. "Sam merely advised Dean to 'suck it up; it's about time I got some payback for your cockblocking.' I am unsure of the specifics but I believe Sam was referring to past sexual encounters."

Naomi pinches the bridge of her nose, feeling what must be a headache coming on. She didn't think that angels could get those. 

"Which now that I think about it, may have involved demons." Castiel tilts his head. "Was that the line of inquiry you were attempting to pursue?"

"I am more interested in the tablet," Naomi says sharply. She must test the link again, to see if he is deliberately being obtuse.

"Dean has advised me against taking any tablets that cannot be acquired at 'legit' pharmacies. He is concerned about my future self, which I find endearing." He smiles softly.

Naomi wants to smite him.

"He need not be so worried, however," Castiel continues. "He's just concerned because I had to take a proffered pill at a rave when we were undercover. I found the experience quite enjoyable, but he kept muttering that the orgies would be next. And he got the most peculiar look on his face when I said I don't understand the purpose of labels."

Naomi takes a deep breath, reminding herself that no one else can serve as a spy. "What about Kevin Tran? Have you seen him recently?"

"Kevin's mother doesn't allow him to engage in sexual encounters, even though he is of age." Castiel frowns. "I do not understand her logic."

Naomi clenches her fist and brings her will down upon Castiel, hoping to squeeze out something worthwhile. Thanks to his meddling the brothers are still hidden from heaven, but surely he will be able to answer a straightforward question. "Where are the Winchesters now?"

"Dean was in the shower when you summoned. We were making the most of... 'alone time' while Sam was at the library. I believe he will notice my absence this time."

That's it. She gives up. She’s going to have to research the compulsions she had placed on Castiel and figure out where she has gone wrong. 

"You will remember nothing," she snaps.

"Nothing," Castiel repeats, nodding his head.

With a snap of her fingers he's out of her sight.

~~~

"Well? Did it work?" Sam says when Cas reappears. Cas notices that Sam is still holding the car keys and idly wonders how long he and Dean had been in the shower. It doesn't matter though, since Naomi hadn’t thought to ask _how long_ Sam had been at the library.

"She told me to remember 'nothing', and so I am duly informing you."

He's glad he said what he had to say before he sees Dean, who has left the shower and is only wearing a towel. Perhaps Sam can be convinced to go on a grocery run.


End file.
